How To Write A Eulogy Kenya Guide

Standing at the pulpit to speak about someone you love is one of the hardest things you will ever do. You might feel the pressure to sum up an entire life in just five minutes. You might be afraid of crying or, worse, forgetting what you wanted to say.

First, take a deep breath. A eulogy doesn’t need to be a perfect literary masterpiece. It just needs to be honest. We often focus heavily on the life history: where they went to school, where they worked, and who they were related to. While these facts are important, a meaningful eulogy goes beyond the CV. It captures the heart of the person.

Here is a simple, step-by-step guide to writing a tribute that honours their true legacy.

Step 1: The Brainstorm (Don’t Start Writing Yet)

The biggest mistake people make is trying to write the first sentence immediately. Instead, sit down with a cup of tea and a notebook, and just make a list.

• The Roles: Who were they? (Father, joker, mentor, strict teacher, generous neighbour).

• The Memories: What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of them?

• The Quirks: Did they love a specific type of tea? Did they hate being late? Did they have a funny laugh?

  Tip: Ask other family members for their favourite stories. You might learn something new!

Step 2: Choose a Theme

A great eulogy isn’t a timeline (“He was born, then he went to school, then he married…”). That is for the funeral program. A great eulogy has a theme.

• Theme Example A: “She was the glue that held us together.” (Tell stories about her hosting Christmas, solving conflicts, and calling everyone).

• Theme Example B: “He was a man of few words but big actions.” (Tell stories about how he helped people silently).

Step 3: The Structure

If you are stuck, use this simple 3-part structure.

1. The Opening (The Introduction) Start by stating your relationship to the deceased.

   • Example: “For those who don’t know me, I am Wangari, and I was lucky enough to call [Name] my best friend for 20 years.”

2. The Stories: Pick 2 or 3 specific stories from your brainstorm list that fit your theme.

   • Instead of saying, “He was generous.”

   • Say: “I remember when he paid school fees for the neighbour’s child and told us never to mention it. That is who he was.”

3. Closing (Farewell) Speak directly to the deceased or offer a final wish for them. Example: “Lala salama, Mzee. We will take it from here.”

Step 4: Keep it Real (and Brief)

• Length: Aim for 3 to 5 minutes. At a funeral, the program is often long. Short and sweet is always appreciated.

• Humour: It is okay to laugh! If they were funny, share a funny story. Laughter is a great release for a grieving congregation.

• Emotions: If you cry, it’s okay. Pause. Breathe. Drink water. Everyone is on your side.

What if you have too much to say? It is heartbreaking to write a beautiful 1,000-word tribute, only to have the MC whisper, “Please keep it to 2 minutes” on the day of the funeral. Often, the most touching stories are the ones that get cut because the program is running late.

If you find yourself with more memories than minutes, consider using a digital tribute as an extension of your speech. This allows you to read the essential parts during the service while ensuring the full, uncut version is not lost.

It gives friends and family a place to read the complete story, see the photos you couldn’t display, and even add the memories they didn’t get a chance to share at the podium. Start preserving their full story here.