Navigating the first 48 hours: a gentle guide for families
Receiving the call that a loved one has passed away is a moment that stops time. Suddenly, the world feels heavy, and your mind might feel like a fog.
Please, before you do anything else…take a deep breath.
While there are logistics that need to be handled, you do not need to carry the weight of the whole world today. Our culture is one of community; people will come to hold you up.
Here is a gentle guide to help you navigate just the next two days, taking it one small step at a time.
Part 1: The First Few Hours
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Ensuring they are in good hands
If you received the news from a hospital, your loved one is currently safe in their care. You now have a choice to make about where they should rest until the funeral.
- What to do: You may choose to keep them at the hospital’s facility or move them to a funeral home you prefer (such as Lee, Umash, Montezuma, or your local home).
- Gentle Note: There is no “right” choice here. Choose what feels peaceful and within your means. If you decide to move them, try to make that call early to secure a space.
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Gathering the essential documents
This part can feel administrative, but it is necessary to protect their identity and future legacy.
- The Notification: The doctor will issue a Death Notification Form. Please take a moment to check that the names match their National ID exactly. A small spelling error here can cause stress later.
- The ID Card: Locate their original National ID card and keep it safe. You will need it often in the coming days.
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Leaning on a trusted voice
You will likely be flooded with calls and messages. It can be overwhelming to repeat the story over and over.
- What to do: It is okay to step back. Ask a trusted family member or close friend to be the “family spokesperson.” Let them answer the phone and handle the initial questions so you can just be.
Part 2: The Next Day (Gathering Your Circle)
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Breaking the news gently
Before the news travels on social media, ensure the people who loved them most hear it from you (or your spokesperson).
- What to do: Call immediate family; parents, children, and siblings, first. Hearing this news via a WhatsApp status can be very painful. Protect their hearts by telling them personally.
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Forming your support team (The Committee)
You are not meant to plan a funeral alone.
What to do: Create a small WhatsApp group for just the 5–10 people you trust implicitly. This isn’t the fundraising group yet; this is your “Inner Circle.”
- The Goal: Use this group to discuss a tentative burial date (usually 7–14 days away, depending on your culture), so you have a target to work towards.
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Checking for support
Before you worry about finances, check what support might already be in place.
- What to do: Did your loved one have funeral cover or an insurance policy? Do they belong to a Chama or Welfare group?
- Why: Many of these require notification within 48 hours to process funds. Let them help you.
A Note for Your Heart
The to-do list will still be there tomorrow. For now, just focus on these few steps. Eat something if you can. Drink water. Allow people to help you.
Summary Checklist:
- Original ID secured.
- The Death Notification Form checked for accuracy.
- Funeral home contacted.
- A trusted spokesperson appointed.
- Immediate family informed personally.
- Insurance or Welfare groups notified.
We are here to help with the words.
When you are ready to share the news with the wider world, you don’t have to struggle with what to say. We have prepared Free Obituary Templates to help you find the right words, or you can create a lasting tribute page here on rip.ke.
